“Revealing Hidden Praise”[1]
Parshas Emor 5782
לרפואה שלימה אסתר תהלה בת אריאל ציפורה
Based on “Erev Shabbos Inspiration” by Rabbi Phillip Moskowitz[2]
Written by Rabbi Dani Staum
The parsha begins “Emor el ha’kohanim b’nei Aharon v’amarta aleihem – Say to the Kohanim the sons of Aharon, and you shall say to them…” It then proceeds to list the unique laws that the Kohanim must observe. Why is Moshe told twice to say to the Kohanim – “say… and you shall say”?
Rashi quotes Chazal who explain that the double expression was to convey, “l’hazhir hagedolim al haketanim – to warn parents with regard to their children.” The first ‘saying’ is for Moshe to relate it to the parents, and the second ‘saying’ is for the parents to say it to the children – to guarantee the continuity of that instruction through the ages.
In 1891, retired German mathematics teacher Wilhelm Von Osten claimed he had trained his horse Hans, whom he referred to as ‘Clever Hans’ to answer math questions. Von Osten would ask him the answer to a mathematical equation and tell Hans to stomp his foot when he said the right answer. Von Osten would then present a few different numbers to the horse. When he said the correct answer Hans would indeed stomp his foot.
Crowds would gather to see the wonder horse and his fame spread around the world. A commission was convened to investigate how Von Osten was fooling everyone, but they became convinced that it was real.
But then Psychologist Oskar Pfundt arrived and began to study Clever Hans. Pfundt realized that Clever Hans could not respond intelligently when no one within his visual field knew the right answer to the question being asked. For example, if one person whispered a number into his left ear and another person a different number into his right ear, if Clever Hans was asked to add the two numbers, he was stumped.
Pfundt concluded that Clever Hans didn’t know math at all. Rather, he had learned to respond to non-verbal cues. When he was asked the answer to a question Hans was perceptive enough to realize that when the correct answer was said the questioner unwittingly gave Hans a subtle anticipatory look, and Hans knew to stomp his foot at that moment.
Pfundt discovered that people unconsciously communicate information to others through non-verbalized body language which included subtle movements.
Psychologists refer to nonverbal communication as “the Clever Hans Phenomenon.”
In fact, non-verbal communication is more convincing than verbal communication. Someone asks his friend what is bothering him and tells his friend that he’s really concerned for him. However, while the friend is pouring out his heart to him, he checks his phone messages or spaces out and does not make eye contact. The verbalized message is that he cares but the nonverbalized message is that he apathetic. It’s obvious which sends a stronger message.
In explaining the double expression of saying at the beginning of Parshas Emor, Rabbi Moshe Feinstein offers a beautiful explanation that contains an invaluable message about chinuch:
Education is not only about formal instruction. In fact, the primary impact parents have is conveyed by how they act, and the messages conveyed informally.
A person might have a particular persona in his office, community, or within society generally. But when he comes home, a very different side of his personality emerges. It’s particularly during those times, that children see their parents for who they actually are and recognize what truly matters to their parents.
Our children internalize what they see, and experience far more than we realize. The Torah first says “emor” that the Kohanim should verbalize these messages to their children. But, in addition, “v’amarta” they should convey these messages and ‘say’ them through their behaviors and the emotional excitement they display for them.
Many of the Mishnayos in Pirkei Avos begin by saying about a specific Tanna, “Hu haya omer – he would say.” Commentaries explain that this doesn’t necessarily mean that the message in the Mishna was something that Tanna would actually verbalize. Rather, “hu – he” – i.e., his very essence, his conduct and the way he lived his life – personified that message and conveyed it by example.
The Torah is telling the Kohanim that their very behavior had to teach about the regality and privilege of being chosen to perform that avodah in the Bais Hamikdash. If the young Kohanim see that their parents value and are excited by their lofty responsibilities, they will absorb the messages by emotional osmosis and will be happy to observe the restrictive laws.
That same applies to every Jew. We all must educate our children about Torah values, not only with the words we say, but more importantly by the message we convey through how we live our lives. In fact, the messages conveyed by our body language, heart and soul, are far more powerful than the words we say.