Rabbi Philip Moskowitz – Elul 5783
The Power of Pretending:
A new approach to improving during Elul[1]
שם משמואל – שנת תרע”ב
הסכת ושמע ישראל, ובספורנו פירש צייר במחשבתך כמו סכות מלככס,
הנה זה לימוד גדול לכל הבא ליטהר שטרם יקרב לכל דבר לעשותו הן בתורה ובתפילה וכן אפי’ בדבר הרשות לא יהי’ נבהל לעשותו טרם יצייר בעצמו היטב את דבר ההוא וצורתו ותועלתו, וזהו חסידים הראשונים היו שוהין שעה אחת ומתפללין, ואפי’ כשבא לשמוע דברי מוסר יצייר בעצמו מקודם מה הוא בא לעשות וזהו הסכת ושמע שאפי’ לשמיעה צריכין לצייר מקודם:
ונראה דזהו הכנת אלול קודם ר”ה לבלי יקרב לעבודת חודש השביעי אלא בהכנה וציור מקודם במחשבתו לפני מי הוא עומד ועובד עבודתו שבלב ותקיעת שופר ויתר מצות שבחודש השביעי, ולזה צריך הרגל רב, ונקבע לזה חודש אלול וכולי האי ואולי:
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שיחות הר״ן אות עד’
בְּעִנְיַן הַתְּפִלָּה, לִפְעָמִים אֵין לְהָאָדָם שׁוּם הִתְלַהֲבוּת בְּהַתְּפִלָּה, וּצְרִיכִין לַעֲשׂוֹת לְעַצְמוֹ הִתְלַהֲבוּת וַחֲמִימוּת וְלֵב בּוֹעֵר לְהַתְּפִלָּה. כְּמוֹ לְמָשָׁל שֶׁנִּמְצָא לִפְעָמִים שֶׁהָאָדָם עוֹשֶׂה לְעַצְמוֹ רֹגֶז עַד שֶׁבָּא בְּכַעַס וְנִתְרַגֵּז, כְּמוֹ שֶׁאוֹמְרִים הָעוֹלָם בִּלְשׁוֹן אַשְׁכְּנַז “עֶר שְׁנִיצְט זִיךְ אַיין רֹגֶז”. כְּמוֹ כֵן מַמָּשׁ בַּקְּדֻשָּׁה בְּעִנְיַן הַתְּפִלָּה, צְרִיכִים לִפְעָמִים לַעֲשׂוֹת לְעַצְמוֹ רֹגֶז, וְיַעֲשֶׂה לוֹ חֲמִימוּת וְתַבְעֵרַת הַלֵּב בְּדִבּוּרֵי הַתְּפִלָּה, אַזוֹי וִויא אֵיינֶר שְׁנִיצְט זִיךְ אַ רֹגֶז, וְעַל יְדֵי זֶה יָבוֹא אַחַר כָּךְ בֶּאֱמֶת לְהִתְלַהֲבוּת וַחֲמִימוּת הַלֵּב בְּהַתְּפִלָּה, וְיִזְכֶּה שֶׁיִּבְעַר לִבּוֹ לְהַשֵּׁם יִתְבָּרַךְ, וְיִתְפַּלֵּל בְּהִתְלַהֲבוּת גָּדוֹל.
וְכֵן בְּעִנְיַן הַשִּׂמְחָה, בִּפְרָט בִּשְׁעַת הַתְּפִלָּה שֶׁצְּרִיכִין שֶׁתִּהְיֶה הַתְּפִלָּה בְּשִׂמְחָה גְּדוֹלָה וּצְרִיכִין לְהַכְרִיחַ עַצְמוֹ לְשַׂמֵּחַ עַצְמוֹ בְּכָל מַה שֶּׁיָּכוֹל כְּדֵי לִזְכּוֹת לְשִׂמְחָה וּבִפְרָט בִּשְׁעַת הַתְּפִלָּה. (וְכַמּוּבָא עַל פָּסוּק: אֲזַמְּרָה לֵאלֹקַי בְּעוֹדִי וְכוּ’ עַיֵּן שָׁם).
וְאִם לִפְעָמִים דַּעְתּוֹ מְבֻלְבָּל וְאֵינוֹ יָכוֹל בְּשׁוּם אֹפֶן לְשַׂמֵּחַ עַצְמוֹ, אָז עֲצָתוֹ שֶׁיַּעֲשֶׂה עַצְמוֹ כְּאִלּוּ הוּא שָׂמֵחַ, וְאַף־עַל־פִּי שֶׁבִּתְחִלָּה עֲדַיִן אֵין הַשִּׂמְחָה בֶּאֱמֶת בַּלֵּב, אַף־עַל־פִּי־כֵן עַל־יְדֵי שֶׁעוֹשֶׂה עַצְמוֹ כְּאִלּוּ הוּא שָׂמֵחַ, עַל־יְדֵי־זֶה יִזְכֶּה אַחַר־כָּךְ בֶּאֱמֶת לְשִׂמְחָה.
וְעֵצָה זֹאת הִיא עֵצָה גְּדוֹלָה מְאֹד גַּם בְּכָל הַדְּבָרִים שֶׁבִּקְדֻשָּׁה. שֶׁבִּתְחִלָּה צְרִיכִין לַעֲשׂוֹת עַצְמוֹ כְּאִלּוּ הוּא לָהוּט אַחַר אוֹתוֹ הַדָּבָר שֶׁבִּקְדֻשָּׁה וְאַחַר־כָּךְ זוֹכִין בֶּאֱמֶת לָזֶה. וְהָבֵן מְאֹד.
Practice smiling – even if you don’t feel like smiling
Rav Avigdor Miller – Yosef looked in the mirror to work on his smile[2]
From article NBC.COM
Fake It Till You Make It
In other words, smiling can trick your brain into believing you’re happy which can then spur actual feelings of happiness. But it doesn’t end there. Dr. Murray Grossan, an ENT-otolaryngologist in Los Angeles points to the science of psychoneuroimmunology (the study of how the brain is connected to the immune system), asserting that it has been shown “over and over again” that depression weakens your immune system, while happiness on the other hand has been shown to boost our body’s resistance.
“What’s crazy is that just the physical act of smiling can make a difference in building your immunity,” says Dr. Grossan. “When you smile, the brain sees the muscle [activity] and assumes that humor is happening.”
In a sense, the brain is a sucker for a grin. It doesn’t bother to sort out whether you’re smiling because you’re genuinely joyous, or because you’re just pretending.
“Even forcing a fake smile can legitimately reduce stress and lower your heart rate,” adds Dr. Sivan Finkel, a cosmetic dentist at NYC’s The Dental Parlour. “A study performed by a group at the University of Cardiff in Wales found that people who could not frown due to botox injections were happier on average than those who could frown.”
https://www.wsj.com/articles/the-power-of-pretending-what-would-a-hero-do-1509547610
MIND & MATTER
The Power of Pretending: What Would a Hero Do? Playing Batman (or other heroic figures) helps children’s performance
By Alison Gopnik Nov. 1, 2017
Sometime or other, almost all of us secretly worry that we’re just impostors—bumbling children masquerading as competent adults. Some of us may deal with challenges by pretending to be a fictional hero instead of our unimpressive selves. I vividly remember how channeling Jane Austen’s Elizabeth Bennet got me through the awkwardness of teen courtship. But can you really fake it till you make it?
Two recent studies—by Rachel White of the University of Pennsylvania, Stephanie Carlson of the University of Minnesota and colleagues—describe what they call “The Batman Effect.” Children who pretend that they are Batman (or Dora the Explorer or other heroic figures) do better on measures of self-control and persistence.
In the first study, published in 2015 in the journal Developmental Science, the experimenters gave 48 5-year-olds increasingly challenging problems that required them to use their skills of control and self-inhibition. For example, researchers might ask a child to sort cards according to their color and then suddenly switch to sorting them by shape. Between the ages of 3 and 7, children gradually get better at these tasks.
The experimenter told some of the children to pretend to be powerful fictional characters as they completed these tasks. The children even put on costume props (like Batman’s cape or Dora’s backpack) to help the pretending along. The experimenter said, “Now, you’re Batman! In this game, I want you to ask yourself, ‘Where does Batman think the card should go?’ ” The pretenders did substantially better than the children who tried to solve the task as themselves.
In the second study, published last December in the journal Child Development, the experimenters set up a task so fiendish it might have come from the mind of the Joker. They gave 4- and 6-year-old children a boring and somewhat irritating task on the computer—pressing a button when cheese appeared on the screen and not pressing it when a cat appeared. The children also received a tablet device with an interesting game on it.
The children were told that it was important for them to finish the task on the computer but that, since it was so boring, they could take a break when they wanted to play the game on the tablet instead.
The children then received different kinds of instructions. One group was told to reflect and ask themselves, “Am I working hard?” Other children got to dress up like a favorite heroic character—Batman, Dora and others. They were then told to ask themselves, “Is Batman [or whoever they were playing] working hard?” Once again, pretending helped even the younger children to succeed. They spent more time on the task and less on the distracting tablet.
Last month at a conference of the Cognitive Development Society in Portland, Ore., Dr. Carlson discussed another twist on this experiment. Was it just the distraction of pretending that helped the children or something about playing powerful heroes? She and her colleagues tried to find out by having children pretend to be “Batman on a terrible day.” They donned tattered capes and saw pictures of a discouraged superhero— and they did worse on the task than other children.
These studies provide a more complex picture of how self-control and will power work. We tend to think of these capacities as if they were intrinsic, as if some people just have more control than others. But our attitude, what psychologists call our “mind-set,” may be as important as our abilities.
There is a longstanding mystery about why young children pretend so much and what benefits such play provides. The function of adult pretending—in fiction or drama—Is equally mysterious. In the musical “The King and I,” Oscar Hammerstein II wrote that by whistling a happy tune, “when I fool the people I fear, I fool myself as well.” Pretending, for children and adults, may give us a chance to become the people we want to be.