STAM
TORAH
TORAH
PARSHAS
VAYETZEI 5777
VAYETZEI 5777
“THE BIGGEST FOOL”
Ladies’ Group but forgot to do it until the last minute. She remembered on the
morning of the bake sale and panicked. After rummaging through cabinets, she found
an angel food cake mix and quickly made it while drying her hair, dressing, and
helping her son pack up for school.
When Alice took the cake from the oven, the center
had dropped flat and the cake was horribly disfigured. She said, “Oh dear,
there isn’t enough time to bake another cake.” This cake was important toAlice because she wanted
to fit in with her new community of friends.
had dropped flat and the cake was horribly disfigured. She said, “Oh dear,
there isn’t enough time to bake another cake.” This cake was important to
to fit in with her new community of friends.
Being innovative, she
looked around the house for something to build up the center of the cake. She took
a roll of bathroom paper and plunked it in and then covered it with icing. Ironically
the finished product looked beautiful.
looked around the house for something to build up the center of the cake. She took
a roll of bathroom paper and plunked it in and then covered it with icing. Ironically
the finished product looked beautiful.
Before she left the house
to drop the cake by the bake sale and head for work,Alice woke her daughter Amanda. She gave her
some money and specific instructions to be at the bake sale the moment it
opened at 9:30 and to buy the cake and bring it home.
to drop the cake by the bake sale and head for work,
some money and specific instructions to be at the bake sale the moment it
opened at 9:30 and to buy the cake and bring it home.
When Amanda arrived at the
sale however, the attractive cake had already been sold. Amanda grabbed her
cell phone and called her mom.Alice
was beside herself. Everyone would know!
sale however, the attractive cake had already been sold. Amanda grabbed her
cell phone and called her mom.
was beside herself. Everyone would know!
What would they think? She
would be ostracized, talked about, ridiculed! All night,Alice lay awake in bed thinking about people
pointing fingers at her and talking about her behind her back.
would be ostracized, talked about, ridiculed! All night,
pointing fingers at her and talking about her behind her back.
The next day, Alice promised herself that
she would try not to think about the cake and that she would attend the fancy
luncheon at the home of a neighbor and try to have a good time. Alice did not
really want to attend because the hostess was a snob, but having already sent
her RSVP, she couldn’t think of a credible excuse to stay home.
she would try not to think about the cake and that she would attend the fancy
luncheon at the home of a neighbor and try to have a good time. Alice did not
really want to attend because the hostess was a snob, but having already sent
her RSVP, she couldn’t think of a credible excuse to stay home.
The meal was elegant, and the
company was upper class. Then toAlice ‘s
horror, the cake in question was presented for dessert!Alice felt the blood drain from her body when
she saw the cake! She started out of her chair to tell the hostess all about
it, but before she could get to her feet, the Mayor’s wife said, “What a
beautiful cake!”
company was upper class. Then to
horror, the cake in question was presented for dessert!
she saw the cake! She started out of her chair to tell the hostess all about
it, but before she could get to her feet, the Mayor’s wife said, “What a
beautiful cake!”
Alice still stunned, sat
back in her chair when she heard the hostess say, “Thank you, I baked it
myself.”
back in her chair when she heard the hostess say, “Thank you, I baked it
myself.”
Forced to flee the wrath of his brother Eisav,
Yaakov sought refuge in the home of his brother-in-law, Lavan, in Charan. The
Medrash[1] relates that despite the fact
that Lavan was legendary for being wily and duplicitous, Yaakov was not
intimidated or afraid of living in his home. “If for deceit he is coming, then
I am his brother (i.e. rival) in deceit. And if he is a decent person then I
too am a decent person.”
Yaakov sought refuge in the home of his brother-in-law, Lavan, in Charan. The
Medrash[1] relates that despite the fact
that Lavan was legendary for being wily and duplicitous, Yaakov was not
intimidated or afraid of living in his home. “If for deceit he is coming, then
I am his brother (i.e. rival) in deceit. And if he is a decent person then I
too am a decent person.”
From the Torah’s account of Yaakov’s experiences
in Lavan’s home however, one can’t help but feel that Yaakov’s confidence was
somewhat misplaced. Lavan in fact duped Yaakov in a most egregious fashion.
After Yaakov specified that he would toil ceaselessly and tirelessly on Lavan’s
behalf for seven years so that he could marry his younger daughter Rachel, Lavan
successfully manipulated Yaakov to end up with his older daughter Leah. The
incident is even more intriguing because Yaakov was wary of the fact that Lavan
would try to accomplish that switch. How was Yaakov able to be fooled by Lavan?
What happened to Yaakov’s assertion that, “I am his brother in deceit”?
in Lavan’s home however, one can’t help but feel that Yaakov’s confidence was
somewhat misplaced. Lavan in fact duped Yaakov in a most egregious fashion.
After Yaakov specified that he would toil ceaselessly and tirelessly on Lavan’s
behalf for seven years so that he could marry his younger daughter Rachel, Lavan
successfully manipulated Yaakov to end up with his older daughter Leah. The
incident is even more intriguing because Yaakov was wary of the fact that Lavan
would try to accomplish that switch. How was Yaakov able to be fooled by Lavan?
What happened to Yaakov’s assertion that, “I am his brother in deceit”?
Rabbi Sholom Shwadron zt’l explained that in order
to understand what truly occurred one must first understand who Lavan really
was. The Medrash relates that Lavan was known as “Lavan Ha’arami”. Although the
term simply means “Lavan the Armenian”, there is a deeper meaning and
significance of his ignoble title.
to understand what truly occurred one must first understand who Lavan really
was. The Medrash relates that Lavan was known as “Lavan Ha’arami”. Although the
term simply means “Lavan the Armenian”, there is a deeper meaning and
significance of his ignoble title.
The Medrash relates that at the wedding when
Yaakov (unwittingly) married Leah, Lavan duped his entire town. Lavan gathered
all of the townsfolk and told them, ‘You know that we have had a water shortage,
and that since this righteous one (Yaakov) has arrived we have enjoyed
bountiful water’. He then revealed to them his deceitful plan to cause Yaakov
to marry Leah which would force Yaakov to stay for an additional seven years in
order to marry his coveted Rachel. To ensure that no one would reveal the plan
to Yaakov, Lavan solicited from every person in town an object for security. He
then took all of those expensive objects, sold them, and used the proceeds to
pay for the wedding. Anyone who wanted back his security had to purchase it
from the storeowner who had accepted it as payment.
Yaakov (unwittingly) married Leah, Lavan duped his entire town. Lavan gathered
all of the townsfolk and told them, ‘You know that we have had a water shortage,
and that since this righteous one (Yaakov) has arrived we have enjoyed
bountiful water’. He then revealed to them his deceitful plan to cause Yaakov
to marry Leah which would force Yaakov to stay for an additional seven years in
order to marry his coveted Rachel. To ensure that no one would reveal the plan
to Yaakov, Lavan solicited from every person in town an object for security. He
then took all of those expensive objects, sold them, and used the proceeds to
pay for the wedding. Anyone who wanted back his security had to purchase it
from the storeowner who had accepted it as payment.
The Medrash concludes, “Woe! Why was he called
Lavan[2] Ha’arami? Because he deceived[3] his entire village.”
Lavan[2] Ha’arami? Because he deceived[3] his entire village.”
Based on the aforementioned story, we must wonder
why he is termed “the deceitful one” and not “the wicked one”? It would seem
that tricking one’s own neighbors and friends is not only sly but blatantly
malicious and evil?
why he is termed “the deceitful one” and not “the wicked one”? It would seem
that tricking one’s own neighbors and friends is not only sly but blatantly
malicious and evil?
We must also wonder how Lavan had the temerity to
do what he did. Did he have absolutely no conscience whatsoever, as to be able
to hoodwink those who he was closest with? Even the most imbecilic individual
would have more sense than to swindle all of his friends on the night of his
daughter’s wedding, and then dance and dine with them using the money he stole
from them?
do what he did. Did he have absolutely no conscience whatsoever, as to be able
to hoodwink those who he was closest with? Even the most imbecilic individual
would have more sense than to swindle all of his friends on the night of his
daughter’s wedding, and then dance and dine with them using the money he stole
from them?
Rabbi Schwadron explained that the Torah defines
people based on their true inner self. The commentaries expend great effort to
explain the details and particulars of individual behavior. But the Torah
pinpoints the origin, the source of all of an individual’s life behaviors and
experiences.
people based on their true inner self. The commentaries expend great effort to
explain the details and particulars of individual behavior. But the Torah
pinpoints the origin, the source of all of an individual’s life behaviors and
experiences.
Eisav is dubbed ‘Eisav the wicked’ because
wickedness and cruelty was his core shortcoming. Indeed, he committed many
crimes out of desire for money and hatred for holiness, but at his core was an
unconquered moral depravity and corruptness.
wickedness and cruelty was his core shortcoming. Indeed, he committed many
crimes out of desire for money and hatred for holiness, but at his core was an
unconquered moral depravity and corruptness.
one’ because ultimately it was his lusts and desires that prevented him from
reaching greatness. Although he too committed sins as a member of
as wicked he is called the ‘desiring one’ because that was his primary
inadequacy.
Lavan too committed many acts that made him
deserving of many alternate titles. But the Torah reveals to us that the primary
catalyst of his behavior was his unrestrained deceitfulness.
deserving of many alternate titles. But the Torah reveals to us that the primary
catalyst of his behavior was his unrestrained deceitfulness.
Although Lavan was innately a man of deceit the
true depth of his treachery lay in the fact that his greatest victim was… himself![4] Whenever Lavan conjured up a
new plan of action, a new way to solicit money or goods from a hapless victim, he
immediately justified his actions in his own mind. So seduced was he by his own
schemes and machinations that he wholly convinced himself that what he was
doing was not only not a sin but it was the proper course of action. He was
absolutely sure that what he did is what needed to be done at that time and in
that situation.
true depth of his treachery lay in the fact that his greatest victim was… himself![4] Whenever Lavan conjured up a
new plan of action, a new way to solicit money or goods from a hapless victim, he
immediately justified his actions in his own mind. So seduced was he by his own
schemes and machinations that he wholly convinced himself that what he was
doing was not only not a sin but it was the proper course of action. He was
absolutely sure that what he did is what needed to be done at that time and in
that situation.
It is in that sense that Lavan is titled[5] “the father of all charlatans”.
Lavan was not merely the master charlatan, he was in a league of his own.
Because he so convinced himself of the veracity of his cause and motives his
deceit knew no limits. That was why he was able to dupe his entire city and
then dance with them at the wedding which they paid for. That was also why he
was able to turn to his daughter at her own wedding and tell her to go back
home because her sister was going home with the groom.
Lavan was not merely the master charlatan, he was in a league of his own.
Because he so convinced himself of the veracity of his cause and motives his
deceit knew no limits. That was why he was able to dupe his entire city and
then dance with them at the wedding which they paid for. That was also why he
was able to turn to his daughter at her own wedding and tell her to go back
home because her sister was going home with the groom.
When Yaakov entered the home of Lavan he declared
that he was prepared to deal with the trickery of Lavan and he was confident
that he would not fall prey to Lavan’s deceit. But Yaakov failed to realize
that he was not dealing with a charlatan – at least not in Lavan’s mind. Yaakov
was wise and wary enough to outfox Lavan’s antics and foibles but Lavan did not
present with antics and foibles. In Lavan’s own mind he was genuine and
sincere, truly believing he was justified in all that he did. Yaakov had no way
to rival a person who felt he was righteous and just.
that he was prepared to deal with the trickery of Lavan and he was confident
that he would not fall prey to Lavan’s deceit. But Yaakov failed to realize
that he was not dealing with a charlatan – at least not in Lavan’s mind. Yaakov
was wise and wary enough to outfox Lavan’s antics and foibles but Lavan did not
present with antics and foibles. In Lavan’s own mind he was genuine and
sincere, truly believing he was justified in all that he did. Yaakov had no way
to rival a person who felt he was righteous and just.
When Yaakov indeed confronted Lavan and asks him,
“Why have you deceived me?” Lavan did not even acknowledge the accusation.
Instead he responded, “That is not the way it is done in our places, to give
the younger one before the older one.” Lavan’s response reverses the accusation
onto Yaakov, as if to criticize him for trying to breach the communal custom.
“Why have you deceived me?” Lavan did not even acknowledge the accusation.
Instead he responded, “That is not the way it is done in our places, to give
the younger one before the older one.” Lavan’s response reverses the accusation
onto Yaakov, as if to criticize him for trying to breach the communal custom.
Arguing with Lavan was an exercise in futility. There
can be no negotiation or discussion with an evildoer who believes he is righteous.
can be no negotiation or discussion with an evildoer who believes he is righteous.
My Rebbe,
Rabbi Berel Wein, often relates that the events that the Torah records are not
ancient history. We encounter the likes ofLot ,
Lavan, and Eisav in our everyday lives. We have to analyze and contemplate the
ways in which the Patriarchs dealt with each of these challenging individuals
to understand how we must respond as well.
Rabbi Berel Wein, often relates that the events that the Torah records are not
ancient history. We encounter the likes of
Lavan, and Eisav in our everyday lives. We have to analyze and contemplate the
ways in which the Patriarchs dealt with each of these challenging individuals
to understand how we must respond as well.
On a deeper
and more profound level we must realize that there is a bit of Lavan,Lot , and Eisav within ourselves. It is incumbent upon us
to learn from these epoch narratives how we can grow and overcome our own
shortcomings.
and more profound level we must realize that there is a bit of Lavan,
to learn from these epoch narratives how we can grow and overcome our own
shortcomings.
In an article entitled, “Torah Revitalized:
Writing A New Chapter”[6], the Los Angeles Times
reports that a congregation inNorthridge ,
California is undertaking the
rectification of an ancient Torah scroll. The Torah is over 300 years old, having
survived the Holocaust. After lying in a deserted warehouse with many other
abandoned scrolls for over three decades in a deserted synagogue inPrague , it was rescued by
a British philanthropist. One scroll eventually made its way to the
congregation inCalifornia
where to date it is used very rarely because of its fragile state. When it is fixed,
it will be used more regularly.
Writing A New Chapter”[6], the Los Angeles Times
reports that a congregation in
rectification of an ancient Torah scroll. The Torah is over 300 years old, having
survived the Holocaust. After lying in a deserted warehouse with many other
abandoned scrolls for over three decades in a deserted synagogue in
a British philanthropist. One scroll eventually made its way to the
congregation in
where to date it is used very rarely because of its fragile state. When it is fixed,
it will be used more regularly.
The leader of the congregation is quoted as
saying, “Torahs are meant to be used… read from… and studied from. Restoring
the Torah shows the commitment we have to keeping a Torah in kosher condition,
in working order, so we can read, learn, and study from it.”
saying, “Torahs are meant to be used… read from… and studied from. Restoring
the Torah shows the commitment we have to keeping a Torah in kosher condition,
in working order, so we can read, learn, and study from it.”
What I found intriguing about the touching story
is that the congregation belongs to aReform Temple .
How incongruous that they are looking to a restore a scroll, whose content they
distort! How ironic that they will beautify the words which read “Remember the
day of Shabbos to sanctify it” while they themselves do not observe the holy
day according to the dictates of that scroll[7].
is that the congregation belongs to a
How incongruous that they are looking to a restore a scroll, whose content they
distort! How ironic that they will beautify the words which read “Remember the
day of Shabbos to sanctify it” while they themselves do not observe the holy
day according to the dictates of that scroll[7].
It must be said that we gain little by pointing
out the foibles of our well-meaning, yet grossly misguided brethren. The truth
is we have to take a candid look at ourselves to determine how/when we delude
ourselves! How often do we convince
ourselves that what we are doing is proper, when others (and perhaps even the
Torah) do not view it that way?
out the foibles of our well-meaning, yet grossly misguided brethren. The truth
is we have to take a candid look at ourselves to determine how/when we delude
ourselves! How often do we convince
ourselves that what we are doing is proper, when others (and perhaps even the
Torah) do not view it that way?
Yaakov was able and ready to counter all of
Lavan’s ploys, but even he could not outwit a person who was convinced his
actions were righteous and pure.
Lavan’s ploys, but even he could not outwit a person who was convinced his
actions were righteous and pure.
Sometimes the person we fool most is ourselves!
“I am his brother in deceit”
“The father of all charlatans”
Rabbi
Dani Staum, LMSW
Dani Staum, LMSW
Rabbi,
Kehillat New Hempstead
Kehillat New Hempstead
Rebbe/Guidance
Counselor – ASHAR
Counselor – ASHAR
Principal
– Ohr Naftoli- New Windsor
– Ohr Naftoli- New Windsor
[1] Bereishis Rabba 70:13
[2] “Lavan” means white. He would
commit all of his antics and yet show a face of innocence and purity, as if he
was white and pure (see Medrash 60:8).
commit all of his antics and yet show a face of innocence and purity, as if he
was white and pure (see Medrash 60:8).
[3] A ‘ramai’ is a deceitful
individual.
individual.
[4] Rabbi Shwadron explains that
“Arami” is a verb, as in who is deceitful to others. But “Ha’arami” is a noun,
connoting one who is himself a deceived person… deceived by himself.
“Arami” is a verb, as in who is deceitful to others. But “Ha’arami” is a noun,
connoting one who is himself a deceived person… deceived by himself.
[5] Tanchuma, beginning of parshas
Vayishlach
Vayishlach
[6] The article is dated October 16,
2010
2010
[7] I surely do not mean to denigrate
what the congregation is doing. It is a beautiful idea to restore a Torah
scroll to its glory. But it is unquestionably a far greater, and more
important, restoration of the beauty of Torah to renew commitment to its laws.
what the congregation is doing. It is a beautiful idea to restore a Torah
scroll to its glory. But it is unquestionably a far greater, and more
important, restoration of the beauty of Torah to renew commitment to its laws.