“RABBI’S MUSINGS (& AMUSINGS)”
Erev Shabbos Kodesh Parshas Shemos 5785
17 Teves 5785/ January 17, 2025
WHICH DIRECTION
For the first three and a half months after we got married my wife and I lived in Flatbush while my wife finished a one-year post-seminary program there. Despite the fact that we are not native Brokklynites, it was exciting to have our first home.
One afternoon, a close friend came to visit our new apartment. While showing him around, a fly began buzzing around us. Suddenly, my mild-mannered friend instructed us to step aside, announcing that he was going to “get that fly” and wasn’t going to leave until doing so.
It was a rather comical few minutes as my friend circled our apartment, trying to stealthily capture the evasive critter. Finally, after a rather lengthy chase he triumphed over the fly.
Thankfully, our newly furnished apartment survived.
The gemara (Berachos 61a) states that the yetzer hara is analogous to a fly that sits between the two gateways of the heart. If we were to choose an animal analogous to the yetzer hara we might have chosen a more ferocious or dangerous beast. However, the gemara is teaching us that the danger of the yetzer hara lies in its persistence and tenacity. When one swats a fly, he is convinced that it learned its lesson and will not return. Yet, moments later it fearlessly buzzes by again in a most annoying manner.
As a rule, the yetzer hara does not prod us to commit severe sins immediately. Rather, he buzzes around us, planting ideas in our head until he weakens our resolve and convinces us to push our moral boundaries ever so slightly.
My esteemed colleague, Rabbi Dr. Yoel Berman shared the following experience from his years as an IDF soldier:
“War in Lebanon was raging.
“As I was already married, I got to go home for Shabbos. Very early Sunday morning, I returned to my little base near Metulla, on Israel’s northern border. But my unit wasn’t there. While I was away for Shabbos they were sent into Lebanon and apparently forgot to tell me.
“I went to Metulla where the larger army base was. When I told the secretary there that I was looking for my unit, she replied that they were expecting me. She told me to put on my gear and head over to the helicopter pad. I was to take the next helicopter in to Lebanon to rejoin my unit.
“I put on all my gear, including my shachpatz – bulletproof vest.
“The helicopters were Vietnam era Hueys with two leather benches on each side. I boarded the helicopter. A bunch of soldiers were already seated on the benches. They were all reservists, which meant they had all been together for years. Some of them had probably fought in the Six Day War in 1967 or the Yom Kippur war in 1973 and had experienced a lot. They had a little stubble on their face because they hadn’t shaved in a while and cigarettes were dangling from their lower lips.
“I noticed immediately that they were all sitting on their bulletproof vests. I figured there was a good reason why they were sitting on them and not wearing them, but I was too embarrassed to ask them the reason. I didn’t want to appear like the inexperienced rookie soldier I was.
“After a minute or two, one of the reservists put his arm around me in a grandfatherly manner and said, “b’ni mieizeh kivun atah choshev shehakadurim yavou – My son, from which direction do you think the bullets are going to come?”
The Pasuk in Mishlei (24:6) says, “כי בתחבולות תעשה לך מלחמה – For with strategies you shall wage war for yourself.” Malbim explains that the yetzer hara has many weapons and tactics at his disposal. In his perennial spiritual battle, a person must study and anticipate those tactics so that he can be proactive in combatting them. Rabbeinu Yonah writes that it is impossible to wage war without having prior plans of how to attack and overwhelm the enemy.
Among the collected letters of Rav Yitzchok Hutner zt”l (Pachad Yitzchak: Igros U’kesavim 128) is one written to a talmid who was evidently feeling despondent over what he deemed personal spiritual failures.
Citing the saying that one can “lose battles but win wars,” Rav Hutner explains that what makes life meaningful is not basking in the exclusive company of one’s yetzer tov, but rather the dynamic struggle of one’s battle with his yetzer hora.
Shlomo Hamelech’s statement that “Seven times does the righteous one fall and get up” (Mishlei, 24:16), does not mean that despite falling seven times, the righteous gets up again. In fact, Rav Hutner writes that that is the way the foolish person understands the pasuk. The wise person, however, understands that the righteous person rises because of his failures. It is only through repeated falls that a person learns his weaknesses and vulnerabilities and then can work to overcome them. One’s struggles – and even failures –can become an ultimate victory, with determination and perseverance. But the first step is to determine from which direction and in what manner the yetzer hara is “firing” at him.
Dr. Berman continued his story:
“Soon after I rejoined my battalion, we were stationed close to the Litani River, where I was given garrison duty. When a soldier has garrison duty he is very vulnerable because he is acting as a lookout and is basically standing in one place. It’s much easier to hit a stationary target than a moving target.
“I was one of the guards of a reserve artillery unit. The soldiers in this unit were all older reservists. Most of the time they just played bridge together.
“I was sitting on the perimeter on a rock next to a barrel, guarding the reserve unit when I suddenly heard a whoosh sound. I looked at the drum next to me and noticed that it now had a hole which didn’t exist a few seconds earlier. Obviously, a Kalashnikov hit it. They’re big bullets and one of them had passed a foot and a half from my face. Someone had tried to shoot me. I hit the ground and rolled over. Then I ran back to the reservists in a panic yelling, “tsalaf tsalaf – sniper, sniper! We must immediately assemble a team to outflank him.”
“I was red-faced and breathless, and I looked up and saw that they were laughing at me. One of them said, “You realize, hatzalaf hazeh kamal im eiynayim pozlot – the guy who shot you is a cross-eyed “Kamal” (an Arab name). We don’t want to take him down because he’ll be replaced with “bulls-eye Mohammed” who doesn’t miss. We would rather keep Kamal out there.”
When the yetzer hara fires at us, even if we can overcome him, it should serve as a reminder of our vulnerability. Realizing we are never safe from its machinations helps us be prepared for the next round, when the yetzer hara will undoubtedly fire again.
We are now in the weeks of Shovavim, a time dedicated to focusing on overcoming our yetzer hara, particularly regarding matters of kedusha. To properly do so, we must recognize that it buzzes incessantly around and within us trying to weaken our resolve.
If we are vigilant and train ourselves to recognize from which direction we are being fired upon, we can be adequately prepared for the enduring internal battle.
Shabbat Shalom & Good Shabbos,
R’ Dani and Chani Staum
Strivinghigher.com