“RABBI’S MUSINGS (& AMUSINGS)”
Erev Shabbos Kodesh parshas Beha’aloscha
17 Sivan 5785/June 13, 2025
Avos perek 2
WHEN THE LIGHTS DIM
At the end of our daughter’s chasunah a few weeks ago, our family met downstairs in the Kallah’s room. After gathering their things, we said goodbye to the Chosson and Kallah and they left. Our older son and other family members took our younger children home as well.
At that point my wife and I made a big mistake. We decided to sit down on the floor for a few minutes to catch our breath. We instantly felt just how tired we were. It took some time before we pulled ourselves up to begin our final pack up. Finally, we came back upstairs and began heading towards the exit. By then the building was completely empty, save for a few workers who were cleaning. The chairs and tables had already been moved to the side, and the floor was just about finished being mopped. The ballroom, which had been packed an hour earlier with people singing and dancing energetically, was now vacant. Silence resonated throughout the hall.
It was somewhat sad that the beautiful event was over and anyone who walked into the building the following morning had no idea what went on there the previous evening. The truth, however, is that it wasn’t sad at all. Somewhere out there a young couple just married k’das Moshe v’Yisroel. Their friends had come from far and wide to dance and celebrate with them, demonstrating just how special and joyous the event is. The newlyweds left infused with the knowledge of the importance of their mission of building a home in Klal Yisroel.
The lights may have gone out in the hall, but the inner flame within them had been ignited. It’s not so important where it happened, as much as what happened. The following day, there may have been no trace of the physical event. However, the impression of the event will remain for life.
We have just celebrated the great Yom Tov of Shavuos. Whenever I have to get something from shul on Motzei Yom Tov, it’s always a strange feeling. Earlier that day, the shul was packed with people. They were in no rush to go to work or anywhere else. They davened and sang the special Yom Tov davening together. This is especially true on motzei Yom Kippur. The contrast of the intensity of the day just a few hours earlier, with the now vacant and dark shul is incredible.
In Eretz Yisroel where Shavuos is only one day, there is a similar sensation. Just a night earlier the shul was packed with people, energetically learning throughout the night. But the following evening, the sounds and the people of the previous day are gone. The building is eerily still, the only illumination from the dancing light of the ner tamid.
But like my daughter’s wedding hall, the stillness of the shul is not to be lamented. Far more important than where it happened is what happened and who it happened with. Far more important than the sounds of the Torah and tefillah of the moment is for the experience to resonate within the hearts of its adherents well after the lights have dimmed.
We have now entered graduation season.
As we bid our graduates farewell, we do so with a mixture of admiration, excitement, sadness and apprehension. The world is a rough place, and life comes at us fast and furiously. We hope that we have invested in the graduates the tools they need to navigate their way through the tempests of life and to be successful with whatever their definition of success is.
Assuming their educational experience was a positive one, it’s never easy to say goodbye to a place one is familiar with and is comfortable in. But the importance of education too is not as much about where it occurs. It is more profoundly about what was learned and how much was internalized and will remain long after the graduate has left the warm confines of the school.
There’s always a tinge of sadness when wonderful things come to an end. But there has to be an end so there can be a new beginning. The greatest challenge is hold onto the inspiration of the event so that it continues to fuel us forward.
Shabbat Shalom & Good Shabbos,
R’ Dani and Chani Staum