The Viznitz cemetery in Monsey has become crowded and busy in recent years. Throngs of people come primarily to daven at the kever of the holy Ribnitzer Rebbe, who lived in the Monsey area, on Old Nyack Turnpike, during his last years.But there are many other great personalities buried there as well. If one continues walking up the hill past the Ribnitzer’s kever, and past the Viznitzer Rebbe’s kever, not far from the brick wall are the kevarim of 3 generations of Skulener Rebbes.
Not too long ago, I remember davening at the kever of the Skulener Rebbe, Rabbi Eliezer Zusya zt”l. At the time he was the only Skulener Rebbe buried there. In 2019 his son and successor, Rabbi Yisroel Avrohom passed away and was buried next to his father. Tragically, in 2024 Rabbi Yisroel’s son and successor, Rabbi Yeshaya Yaakov, passed away at the age of 68 and was buried next to his father and grandfather.
On the kevarim of the elder two Skulener Rebbe’s, there are beautiful descriptions of their greatness and righteousness. On Rabbi Yeshaya Yaakov’s kever however, there is not much written. “He instructed that no descriptions be written except for this: He tried to have kavanah (concentration) when he davened, particularly when he recited Modim (the beracha of gratitude in Shemoneh Esrei).”
I didn’t have the zechus to meet Rabbi Yeshaya Yaakov but his epitaph serves as a stark reminder about the importance of gratitude and concentrating while reciting the beracha of modim. What a powerful statement!
One Chanukah, the daughter of Rav Moshe Wolfson asked him what she should daven for after lighting the Chanukah candles. Rav Wolfson replied, “Du kentst davenin far dem, du kentst davenin far dem, ubber farvahs zalstu nisht beser danken der Ribbono Shel Olam. Mit hoda’ah kehn mehn asach mehr oiftahn – You can daven for this or for that. But why don’t you thank Hashem instead? You can accomplish a lot more through gratitude.”
It has been said that the pasuk “Hodu l’Hashem ki tov ki l’olam chasdo- Praise Hashem for He is good, for his kindness is forever,” contains 24 letters and 7 words, a subtle reminder that one should be grateful constantly – 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Recently I heard a related, poignant insight. The gematriah of the word Kos (cup) is 86. Half of 86 is 43. It’s famously said that we always have the choice to see our proverbial kos as half full or half empty.
One who is grateful sees the half that’s full. Fascinatingly, the chapter of Tehillim dedicated to gratitude, Mizmor l’sodah, contains 43 words. It is a reminder that we should not wait until everything is perfect and exactly how we think it should be before we are thankful. We should be grateful even for the cup that’s only half full.
How does one train himself to see the half full part of the cup? By raising the cup in the air so that he is looking up at the contents, and not down at the empty top half of the glass. This is another understanding of the words of Dovid HaMelech: “A cup of salvation I raise, and in the Name of Hashem I call.”
The Torah places a strong emphasis on feeling gratitude and recognizing the good in life. Just how far does this mandate go?
In the first of the Ten Plagues inflicted on the Egyptians, Hashem told Moshe to stretch his staff on the waters of the Nile to initiate the plague of blood (Shemos 7:19).
Rashi explains that Aharon’s staff was used and not Moshe’s, because the water had protected Moshe when he was placed in the Nile by his mother when he was an infant. It was therefore not appropriate for Moshe to hit the water.
Similarly, the third Plague of Lice was also initiated by Aharon when he struck the sand to bring forth the plague of lice. Since Moshe had used the sand to bury the Egyptian officer he had killed, it would be ungrateful of Moshe to strike the sand. This was so despite the fact that in the end the sand didn’t help Moshe at all, because Doson and Aviram ratted him out anyway.
Rav Dessler (Michtav MeEliyahu 3) explains that gratitude is not for the give as much it’s for the recipient. When someone receives goodness he has an obligation to recognize it and to be grateful for it, even if his gratitude is not expected or even appreciated. That is the idea behind being grateful even to inanimate objects. It helps foster and develop the obligation of always being grateful.
On the other side of the wall surrounding the Viznitz cemetery is the kever of “the tzaddik of Monsey,” Rabbi Mordechai Schwab zt”l.
Rabbi Mordechai Schwab developed this highly refined level of hakaras hatov even to inanimate objects.
In the biography of Rabbi Schwab it notes that he did not own much clothing. He had two suits, one for Shabbos and one for the weekdays, and he owned four or five shirts which he wore until they were almost threadbare. When a shirt could no longer be worn, Rabbi Schwab would hang it in the closet for a time before putting it in a bag and placing it gently in the garbage can while saying, “You have served me well.“
In a way this idea has become more applicable as of late. With the advent of Alexa and Siri, as well as AI devices that follow instructions, one can be rude and obnoxious and will be listened to anyway. But perhaps we have to be polite and thankful to AI devices, for the above reasons. It is for not for the sake of the nonhuman, artificial intelligence that we must express our gratitude. Rather it is for ourselves to never accustom ourselves to rudeness or ingratitude.
I read about a Rabbi who would daven a particularly long Shemoneh Esrei. When asked why it took him longer than most, he replied that when he recites Modim he thinks of something particular that he is thankful for every single time he davens.
On one occasion I asked a friend of mine how he was doing and he proceeded to tell me a few things he was grateful for. Then he admitted to me that he was going through a challenging time. “But” he added, “I’m grateful that I can feel grateful even though things are tough.”
That’s a great attitude and perspective. Life will always present us with challenges and the unexpected. Being grateful is not only our responsibility that keeps us humble. It also helps us be able to deal with life with a more sanguine attitude.