“RABBI’S MUSINGS (& AMUSINGS)”
Erev Shabbos Kodesh parshas Ki Vayakhel-Pekudei 5786 – Parshas HaChodesh
24 Adar 5786/ March 13, 2026
TRUE COLORS
An author always seeks to conclude his writing with a poignant and memorable ending. It is integral to have a captivating opener to pique the interest of the reader, and it is vital to have a captivating conclusion that will resonate with the reader.
We can be confident that the concluding words of Megillas Esther – the ultimate story of divine intervention and righteousness over evil – were not written haphazardly.
The final verse in the Megillah relates the greatness of Mordechai hatzaddik: “For Mordechai the Jew was second to King Achashveirosh, great for the Jews, found favor with most of his brethren; he sought the good of his people and spoke peace for all his progeny” (Esther 10:3).
Is that the final message we should be left with – that Mordechai got along with all his kids? In addition, if Mordechai sought the good of his entire people, isn’t it obvious that he sought to get along with his own family?
Rav Matisyahu Salomon zt”l notes that, sadly, it is not at all obvious that one who gets along with “everybody” will get along with his own family. There are people who are admired and respected by the public and lauded by the multitudes for their kindness and devotion, yet who treat their own spouses and children disdainfully. A person may have patience for everyone’s issues and yet have no time or interest in the lives of his own children.
It is far easier to be magnanimous and patient when one is in the public eye. But behind closed doors when there are no laudatory speeches or plaques, it is a different story altogether. The true measure of greatness is how one treats his own family.
Mordechai sought the good of his people, in the sense that he used his position and influence to help his brethren and better their plight. But the true measure of Mordechai’s greatness was that, despite the fact that he was so influential and living in the public eye, “he spoke peace for all his progeny.” He had patience and love for his own children.
Those concluding words of the Megillah speak volumes about how one is to view true greatness and leadership.
On Friday evening, we sing the chapter Eishes Chayil, the tribute to the Woman of Valor, authored by Shlomo Hamelech (Mishlei 31). In it we state: “Her children get up and they praise her, her husband and he lauds her.”
At first glance, it would seem that the ultimate praise of the Woman of Valor is that she is praised outside her home. The wisest of men, however, teaches us that the opposite is true. As noted, the ultimate measure and praise of a person is not by how they are regarded outside. It is specifically those who see her when her guard is down, when she’s tired and not at her best who know who she truly is. If her husband and children praise her, then we can be sure that she is truly a woman of valor.
In literature, a foil character is a literary element that serves as a contrast to the main character, or the protagonist. The foil’s personality traits, attributes, values, or motivations highlight the traits of the protagonist. If the protagonist is brave, the foil is timid. If the protagonist is kind, the foil is cruel. This contrast reveals the protagonist’s personality more clearly.
(The term “foil” derives from the metal foil jewelers place under gems to make them shine more brightly. By providing contrast, a jewel’s brilliance and facets become more apparent. Similarly, a literary foil character serves as a backdrop to make the protagonist “shine.”)
Megillas Esther provides more than one foil character. In certain ways, it is obvious that the villainous Haman is a foil for the righteous Mordechai. But there is more than one foil for Mordechai in the Megillah.
At the beginning of the Megillah, Achashveirosh sought to compel his wife to respect him through intimidation and force. It was an abysmal failure. Mordechai earned the admiration, respect and love of all Jews, most significantly his own children. Someone should have told Achashveirosh that while you may be able to force compliance, you can’t coerce genuine respect and admiration. Achashveirosh should have taken more than a page out of Mordechai’s book. Respect and admiration must be earned.
Recently, someone sent me a clip of entrepreneur Darren Gringras sharing a similar sentiment:
“You can be kind to animals, kind to the paper boy and you can be kind to every stranger who crosses your path. But kindness to strangers is not the measure of our character. Kindness at home is the real test, because strangers don’t carry our history and strangers don’t activate our wounds and strangers don’t mirror back the parts of us that we’ve avoided for years. Our spouse does, our children do, and our home does.
“Here’s the uncomfortable truth that most people dodge: If all of your graciousness is saved for strangers, that’s not kindness; that is image management. The real measure of who we are isn’t the polite smile that we give to the grocery clerk. It’s the tone we use with the partner who loves us. It’s the patience we offer when our children are overwhelmed. It’s the softness we choose on the days our egos want to snap.”
One of the enduring messages of Purim is that we must peer beneath the mask to see deeper and reflect inwardly. We need to ask ourselves if we are the best child/parent/sibling/spouse/friend/neighbor that we can be?
The final words of the Megillah should resonate long after Purim has concluded – “he sought the good of his people and spoke peace for all his progeny.”
Shabbat Shalom & Good Shabbos,
R’ Dani and Chani Staum
STRIVINGHIGHER.COM