Striving Higher

PESACH 5775

“RABBI’S
MUSINGS (& AMUSINGS)”
Erev Shabbos Kodesh – Pesach
14 Nissan 5775/ April 3, 2015
Just before I began our
Sunday morning Mesillas Yeshorim shiur this week, I was reviewing some of the
laws regarding how much matzah one should eat and the time frame it should be
eaten in at the Seder.
One of the attendees
noted that he was always somewhat bothered by all of the nuances and details
that are involved in the mitzvos of the Seder. “If the point is to feel a
sense of liberation and connection, how can one focus on the essence of the
matzah if he is so busy worrying about how much to eat and how much longer he
has to finish that amount?”
He added that as a ba’al teshuva he can’t help
but feel nervous and skeptical that he didn’t perform the mitzvah properly. “Is
G-d really more interested in my being neurotic about the details than about my
appreciation of what the matzah represents?”
It’s a good question.
After a moment’s
thought I replied by sharing with him that shortly before I proposed to my
wife, I was discussing my upcoming engagement with my rebbe, Rabbi Yitzchok
Heimowitz. At one point Rabbi Heimoiwtz looked at me with a twinkle in his eye
and said “Doniel, I know you like to make elaborate plans and do unusual
things. But your proposal does not need to be anything wild or outlandish.”
I laughed but adhered
to his advice. My proposal was very special and meaningful to us (she said yes,
by the way) and included the element of surprise without me jumping out of a
plane or getting arrested (how I did it is for a different time).
Anyone who has been at
that stage will remember the feeling of not being able to do enough for their
spouse-to-be. When one is riding cloud nine and feels that longing to be close
with their perspective spouse he/she can spend hours working out minute details
to enhance the experience even more. Everyone around them may be telling them
that it’s enough, but they still want to do more. The more the details involved
the better.
I told my congregant
that his feeling at the Seder is dependent, not only upon how he views his
efforts, but also how he perceives G-d views his efforts. If he feels that he
must keep every detail because if he doesn’t G-d will reject his service and he
will be the wicked son at the Seder who is censured and whose teeth are dulled,
the Seder will become an uncomfortable and tedious experience for him. He then
can indeed wonder why he needs to expend so much effort on details. In fact,
all of the details detract from his feeling of liberation from servitude.
However, if he views
Seder night as a time to express his innermost feelings of love and devotion to
G-d who loves Him and chose him to be part of the chosen people, he simply
can’t do enough. He looks for more and more details that he could be meticulous
about so that he could further demonstrate his devotion and love. Only one who
is deeply emotional and passionate about someone else will worry about every
petty detail.
If a young woman were
to see that her new groom has worked so hard to arrange a perfect proposal with
attention to every detail, but some of the details weren’t perfect, we can be
sure that it will not detract from her appreciation and mutual love she feels
because all of his efforts.
There is indeed an
ideal manner in which to fulfill the mitzvah, but if one needs a little more
time (not more than nine minutes) or cannot eat the full amount (2 k’zaysim for
matzah and afikomen, one k’zayis for korech, and one k’zayis of marror) he can
still fulfill the mitzvah. The feeling within his heart plays a key role.
I also vividly remember
those nights when we were engaged when I was so utterly drained, and yet
remained on the phone speaking with my kallah, even though we had spent the
whole evening together just a few hours prior.  
The night of the Seder
is a night of passion and love. It is for that reason that many have the custom
to recite Shir Hashirim after the Seder has concluded. It may be the wee hours
of the morning, and the matzah, marror, festive meal and four cups of wine may
be at war within him, while his sleep deprived eyelids may be begging for
closure, but the joy in his heart and surging emotions he feels within him can
be expressed in no other manner.    
Shabbat Shalom &
Good Shabbos,
            Freilichen Yom Tov
& Chag Kasher V’samyach
            R’ Dani and Chani
Staum

720 Union Road • New Hempstead, NY 10977 • (845) 362-2425

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