“RABBI’S MUSINGS (& AMUSINGS)”
Erev Shabbos Kodesh parshas Vayetzei 5781
11 Kislev 5781/November 27, 2020
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My
rebbe, Rabbi Berel Wein, is fond of relating the following personal story:
“In
1974, after the Yom Kippur war, I was the rabbinic administrator of the OU’s
kashrus division. The recently concluded Yom Kippur War had a traumatic effect
upon the country. אין בית אשר אין שם מת
– almost three thousand soldiers had been killed, and twelve thousand more were
wounded. The notion of Israeli invincibility that had developed after the Six
Day War was punctured. You could literally feel the depression on the street.
“At that
time I was in Eretz Yisroel and went to see Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach zt”l to
discuss different issues with him. Afterwards, I asked him his opinion about
the current situation.
Rav Shlomo Zalman replied that at the time Klal Yisroel
and Eretz Yisroel were one big hospital – כולנו בבית
חולים. Some were in the cardiac ward,
some were in the psychiatric ward, some were in intensive care, and some were
only outpatients, but everyone was in the hospital.
“What’s
the first rule visitors are told in a hospital? Keep quiet. Does a doctor walk
into a patient’s room in the morning and scream at him “why aren’t you better?
Why don’t you get out of bed?”
“What is
everyone hollering about? Everyone is sick and everyone is scarred. We didn’t
patch up the trauma of the Second World War yet. The constant struggle of the
last hundred years still weighs upon the Jewish people. So why are we shouting
at each other? Instead, we should focus on trying to help and heal each other. איש
את רעהו יעזרו ולאחיו יאמר חזק.”
It’s a
powerful idea and one worth bearing in mind constantly. At times we get upset
at people and become frustrated with their views or behaviors. We need to
remember that people are generally doing their best. There is so much about
their lives that we have no idea about. There is so much pain and confusion
raging within others that we cannot see or know. We need to stop shouting and
judging. What Rav Shlomo Zalman said decades ago is perhaps even more true
today – everyone is in the hospital, everyone is struggling, and everyone needs
patience and understanding.
I must
add a personal reflection: A few weeks ago, I was sidelined by Corona. Almost
everyone who heard that I was sick was sympathetic and concerned. But there
were individuals whom I felt were judging me for contracting the virus. Or they
were more concerned with how my contracting the illness affected them than they
were about how I was feeling.
Besides
the insensitivity of it, such an attitude is very concerning. In fact, in some
ways it symbolizes part of the decline of our society. When people become so
concerned with themselves that they cannot see or think about others they tend
to become increasingly more narcissistic and self-absorbed.
Beyond
that, when people feel justified in being critical of those who are sick,
suffering, and less fortunate, it demonstrates a much more serious level of
apathy and being unable to see beyond one’s own perspective.
There
was a city legendary for such behaviors. It was known as Sodom and it was
ultimately destroyed.
The
Jewish people are by nature merciful and strive to perform chesed. That is the
light we spread in the darkness.
Rav
Shlomo Zalman taught us that we need to stop shouting at each other, and in the
world of Covid, we need to stop judging each other. No one has all the answers.
But together we can transcend and forge ahead.
Shabbat Shalom &
Good Shabbos,
R’ Dani and Chani Staum