“RABBI’S MUSINGS (& AMUSINGS)”
Erev Shabbos
Kodesh parshas Devorim – Shabbos Chazon
8 Menachem Av 5782/August
5, 2022
Erev Tisha b’Av
LOVING FEAR
It’s become a rather ubiquitous
experience. You walk up to someone’s home and ring the bell. As you wait for a
response, you notice that they have a video ring, and you know you’re being
watched. What do you do while you’re waiting? Most people try their best to
nonchalantly look causal and cool. But there’s no escaping that feeling of
being stuck there while you know you’re being videoed.
During the weeks of the covid
pandemic, I went to my students’ homes one Erev Shabbos to deliver potato kugel
my wife had made. It was an excuse to see them, if even from a distance. I
pulled up to one home and got out of my car to hand it to my student. I saw my
student and his brother and father pointing excitedly. I thought they were
joking until they started screaming “your car!” I turned around to see my car
slowly inching towards their dining room window. It seems that the driver, who
will remain nameless, remembered to put on his mask and gloves, but must have
forgotten to put the car in park. I quickly ran, jumped into the car and
stopped it in time. The worst part was that the whole ordeal was clearly
captured on their ring. (The Zimermans will be more than happy to show it to
you…)
My rebbe, Rabbi Berel Wein, quipped
that, “A Jew should always feel that G-d is looking over his shoulder. If a
person feels that way, it’ll save him from a lot of trouble. All the articles
in the newspapers that report indictments, and everything lawyers make millions
of dollars off of, is because people forget G-d for a moment.”
We refer to that sense of awareness as yiras
shomayim. One fears heaven by being conscience of the fact that heaven is
viewing and recording his deeds and actions. This is not to say heaven is
watching us to condemn us when we fall short. Rather, heaven is cheering us on,
hoping that we will live up to our potential and be the great people we are
capable of becoming.
The Shabbos before Rosh Chodesh we
recite a passionate prayer in which we beseech Hashem to grant us life. We ask
for life of blessing, livelihood, vigor, etc. Curiously, there is one thing we
ask for twice: “A life that has in them fear of heaven and fear of sin… life
that there is within us love of Torah and fear of heaven.” There are various
explanations offered about why we ask for fear of heaven twice.
Rabbi Asher Weiss notes that it is
clear to him that the real answer to the question has to do with a misplaced
comma. Rabbi Weiss is emphatic that, in fact, we do not request fear of heaven
twice. The second request is not for “love of Torah, and fear of heaven” as if
they are two separate commodities. Rather, we ask Hashem to grant us a life wherein
we feel a love both of Torah and fear of heaven. In other words, we are asking
Hashem to help us love being G-d-fearing Jews.
Rabbi Weiss continues that the reason
this true explanation is not commonly known is because most people don’t think
of fear of heaven as something one can love. Most people view it as a necessary
challenge. Most people think that training oneself to recognize that G-d is
always watching his every action is an unpleasant reality we have to live with.
But the truth is that being G-d-fearing should not be overbearing and
unpleasant. One merely needs to look at the state of morality, or the lack
thereof, in western society to see what happens when there is a lack of
awareness of G-d. It’s reminiscent of the timeless words of Avrohom Avinu who
told Avimelech that he wasn’t candid about his beautiful wife’s identity,
“because I said only there is no fear of G-d in this place, and (therefore)
they will kill me regarding the matter of my wife” (Bereishis 20:11).
We don’t merely ask to fear heaven.
We ask that Hashem help us appreciate the virtue of living such a noble life
with an awareness of G-d constantly. Our greatest Torah leaders, who epitomize
such a life, are princes of noble character, loving and beloved, exuding
goodness and examples of humanity at its finest. That virtue and nobility is
the direct result of the fact that they are G-d-fearing and live with an
awareness of G-d in their lives.
The more fear of heaven we inculcate
in our lives, the greater we become as individuals and as a society.
The ultimate place where one was able
to glean that sense of fear of heaven was in the Bais Hamikdash. When a Jew
entered its confines, he became hyper-aware that he was in G-d’s Presence. When
one would witness the Kohanim performing the avodah with vigilance and
alacrity, hear the harmonized singing of the Leviim, and see the awesome
structure of the Bais Hamikdash, it left an indelible impression upon him. It
was when people stopped feeling that sense of awe from the Bais Hamikdash that
Hashem caused it to be destroyed.
One of the challenges of exile and
not having a Bais Hamikdash is the lack of that added sense of awareness of
Hashem in the world.
At the conclusion of Shemoneh Esrei
we daven that Hashem rebuild the Bais Hamikdash “and there we will serve You
with awe.” Although the Bais Hamikdash was a place where one could and should
also discern love of Hashem for His nation, our prayer is to merit back the awe
that we lack without the Bais Hamikdash and its avodah.
It is an ongoing struggle for us to
maintain that sense of awareness that Hashem is with us constantly and is
always “looking over our shoulder.” With the rebuilding of the Bais Hamikdash
very soon, we will once again have that omnipresent feeling of connection with
Hashem. And when that awareness returns what a different world it will be – a
world without pain and suffering. It will be a world of kindness, selflessness,
and holiness.
Shabbat Shalom & Good Shabbos
Have an inspiring, meaningful, and easy fast,
R’ Dani and Chani Staum