“RABBI’S MUSINGS (& AMUSINGS)”
Erev Shabbos Kodesh parshas Chukas-Balak
11 Tamuz 5786/ June 26, 2026
Avos perek 5
FORGET ME NOT
I’ve been a rebbe now for almost two decades b”H. Since my second year of teaching, I’ve noticed that every single year during the first few weeks of the new school year, my students from the previous year will say hi and then ask me how my new students are. When I reply that they are great, they will invariably say, “C’mon rebbe, tell us the truth: They’re not as good as we were, right?” I always reply that they are definitely different, but also good.
As humans, we desperately want to make our mark in the world. One of our greatest fears is living a meaningless and purposeless life. Many people walk around with the incredibly painful feeling of, “If I disappeared tomorrow would it really matter to anyone.”
Years ago, my sister Ahuva went on a class trip to Philadelphia. When she arrived home, she gifted me with a quote from Ben Franklin written in old English calligraphy upon what felt like aged parchment. The quote read: “If you would not be forgotten, as soon as you are dead and rotten, either write things worth reading or do things worth writing.”
A few years ago, a close friend of our family was involved in a serious car accident. It was a long and difficult road, but b’H the friend fully recovered.
Right after it happened, I went with another friend to the junkyard where the car was towed to recover whatever personal items could be salvaged from the car.
The junkyard was essentially a car graveyard. There were rows and rows of mangled cars, one more frightening looking than the next.
As the worker of the junkyard led us to the car, he quipped dolefully that every car there had a unique, tragic story. He then proceeded to point to some of the cars and relate what occurred. It was painful to hear the stories. He told us what happened and who was hurt, or worse, in each accident.
For a long time afterwards, his words haunted me – every car has a unique story. It wasn’t just a big junkyard of unusable cars. Each one had victims and a traumatizing experience that made it painfully unique.
If that’s true about a junkyard and about terrible experiences, it’s undoubtedly true regarding every individual in a positive way.
An assembly of people isn’t merely a group. It’s a collection of unique individuals, each with his own story, life experience, hopes, and dreams.
One of the great ways we can live a purposeful life is by valuing others, by demonstrating that we recognize their uniqueness and individuality.
There are numerous stories in which people sought advice in person or through written letters of the Lubavitcher Rebbe, asking for his advice on how they could recover from painful and even traumatic experiences. The Rebbe often advised that they seek to help others and be there for others.
In a letter to a father worried about his daughter’s emotional state, the Rebbe wrote:
“I do not know whether the doctor has such a pessimistic view, but there have been similar cases where positive results were accomplished through getting the person interested in some outside activity to help others. Thus, it would be well if some suitable youth group or organization would approach her with a request to help out in its activities, in an area compatible with her ability, appealing to her for her help. This would give her a stimulus to overcome her present frame of mind, even if she would not make the effort to get out of her own shell for her own sake.”
Perhaps this is the most poignant point to remember: Even if there’s nothing one can do, he can always improve the lives of others, simply by making them feel special through a kind and complimentary word.
Everyone is special.
Different yet special. To recognize that in others is to enhance their sense of self.
Shabbat Shalom & Good Shabbos,
R’ Dani and Chani Staum
STRIVINGHIGHER.COM