“RABBI’S MUSINGS (& AMUSINGS)”
Erev Shabbos Kodesh parshas Ha’azinu & Yom Kippur 5787
8 Tishrei 5786/ September 18, 2026
DIRTY SOAP
Almost any parent will agree that one of the more difficult components of parenting young children revolves around bath time. It begins with the formidable challenge of getting them into the bath. Young children have no interest in stopping playing with their toys and exploring the world around them to go through the ordeal of taking a bath.
The only thing harder than coaxing (or placing) them in the bath, is getting them out of the bath. Once they’re in the bathtub they never want to come out. When they stay in too long, they get excited that they are turning into raisins.
When children become a little older, they reach the milestone when their parents decide that it’s time for them to bathe themselves. Usually that first self-serve bath is a disaster. The sound of raucous laughter is generally the first sign of trouble. The hapless parents burst into the bathroom to find more water on the floor of the bathroom than in the tub. They then discover that although the kids have been in the bath for 40 minutes, their hair is completely dry. The parents may then tell the children that they must wash their hair immediately and be out of the bath within five minutes. When the children finally do emerge from the bath their pajamas will likely be stuck to their bodies because they didn’t dry themselves properly.
With my children I would often find white streaks in their hair. It would take a minute for me to realize that it was shampoo that they hadn’t adequately washed out of their hair. They asserted that since it was shampoo, they could just let it stay there so their hair would stay clean for longer, obviating the need to take another bath for the rest of the week. They weren’t too happy when I insisted they get back into the bathtub so I could pour water over their heads to wash the shampoo out of their hair.
What an intriguing concept – to be sullied from soap. But, upon further review, perhaps it’s not as novel as it seems.
One of the core steps of teshuva includes regretting one’s sins. This can lead one to think that the only way he will be forgiven for his sins is if he focuses on his sins for an extended period about how terrible his actions were. He may think atonement is attained only when he feels debilitating shame for his actions and focuses on what a terrible person he is. But that is a grave mistake. In fact, such thoughts lead a person down the rabbit hole that ends with despair, complete deflation and hopelessness that sustainable change is possible.
The Chiddushei HaRim notes that a person is where his thoughts are. Therefore, if one committed a serious sin and he spends extra time contemplating his iniquity, it will cause his heart to be filled with thoughts of sin and will definitely not lead him to repent.
In the Chiddushei HaRim’s words: “Whether he sinned or didn’t sin doesn’t affect Hashem one iota. However, during the time that he was thinking about his sin, he could have instead been drilling and mining pearls of growth of greater connection with Hashem.
The pasuk in Tehillim states, “Turn away from evil and do good.” That should be understood to mean, ‘Turn away from evil’ by turning your mind away from reflecting on the evil you committed. Confess and then don’t think more about it. ‘Do good’ meaning if you performed bundles of sins, then rectify it by performing bundles of mitzvos to counter the sins.
Before Yom Kippur, remove yourself from the sin with equanimity and calmness by making a plan. Accept upon yourself to rid yourself of the sin. Do so with joy and recite “Al chayt” (the list of sins) quickly, and don’t dwell on them. Rather, focus and contemplate upon the section of davening in which we pray “v’simloch atah Hashem livadecha – You alone will be King”.”
The Chiddushei HaRim is revealing a pivotal idea regarding teshuva generally and specifically throughout Yom Kippur. Part of the divine cleaning system, the spiritual soap of teshuvah, requires that we recite viduy. Throughout Yom Kippur we recite the short viduy (ashamnu, bagadnu) 11 times (beginning with mincha on Erev Yom Kippur), and the long viduy (with the al chayts) 9 times. Soap is vital, but one can become sullied from too much soap.
Viduy must be said with concentration and feeling. One must feel genuine regret and remorse for his sins. But he shouldn’t allow that inner voice to fool him into thinking that he needs to harp on each sin and focus on them in order to attain atonement. Too much focus will mentally bring him back to the sin and the process will be counterproductive.
In my mind, I picture viduy as a nuclear weapon capable of penetrating the enemy’s most sensitive positions. When fighter jets drop bombs behind enemy lines, they don’t stick around to wait for impact. They seek absolute precision, release the bombs, and get out as quickly as possible so that they are long gone before the explosion occurs.
Reciting viduy and feeling sincere regret is a vital weapon in the personal battle we wage against our past failings and mishaps as part of our quest to accomplish genuine teshuva. We should “drop the weapon” with precision and feeling but then get out of there. We want to be out of the muck of the sins we mentioned before the yetzer hara attacks us with feelings of deflation and despair or gets us mired in the morass of our past sins.
Hashem wants to forgive us, and, in fact, Tana d’vei Eliyahu (chapter 1) writes that Hashem rejoices in doing so. But we shouldn’t make the mistake of thinking that we need to stay in that bath too long.
Soon enough it’s time to emerge, enjoy and rejoice in the feeling of rejuvenation and spiritual cleanliness.
Shabbat Shalom & Good Shabbos
G’mar Chasima Tova,
R’ Dani and Chani Staum
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