‘Parsha Growth Spurts’
Rabbi Dani Staum
Parshas Mishpatim
“One who strikes his father or mother… One who kidnaps a man and sell him… One who curses his father or mother…” (21:15-17)
It seems strange that the Torah records the law of a kidnapper in between the laws of one who strikes a parent and one who curses a parent?
Rav Shimon Schwab zt’l explains that the Torah is conveying how it’s possible for a child to come to curse or strike his parent c’v. Parents who act as drill sergeants, treating their children like captives, by demanding immediate compliance and complete subordination, are tantamount to kidnappers who rob a person of his freedom. Years of such treatment will cause an underlying resentment to fester within the child who feels so utterly confined and restricted. Eventually the child’s anger can lead to such rebellious behaviors as hitting or cursing a parent.
The challenge of parenting is that it requires consistent nurturing as well as limits. It is always a challenge to find the delicate balance between the two, and each child has different needs which require different approaches. But a parent must never go to an extreme one way of the other, or the consequences can c’v be disastrous.
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“After the majority to yield” (23:2)
Rabbi Yitzchok Zekel, known as the Ba’al Shem of Michelstat, was renowned as a child prodigy. His reputation even reached the local Duke who sent a message to his parents that he wanted to meet the brilliant youth.
When the child arrived at the Duke’s palatial mansion there was no one there to greet him. In fact there was no one around at all. Within a few minutes however, Yitzchok marched into the room where the Duke was waiting. When the Duke asked him how he knew where to find him, he explained that none of the shades were drawn in any of the myriad rooms in the mansion, with the exception of this one room. So he figured that the Duke must be in that room.
The Duke was impressed and asked him, “What would you have done if the servants were there to greet you and each gave you different a different response about where I was?” Yitzchok replied “Then I would have followed the majority, as the Torah states.”
The Duke looked at the child and smiled cunningly, “If you follow the majority, then why are you Jewish, after all the Jews hardly constitute a small minority of the world’s population?”
The youth replied, “Honorable Duke, if I knew for certain that you were in this room, even if every single servant in the palace told me otherwise, I wouldn’t pay attention to them. One only follows the majority if he is in a state of doubt and has no way to verify the truth. But if he knows the truth he has no need to rely on the majority. When it comes to religion I have no need to follow the majority, for I have absolutely no doubts that the Jews, despite being the minority, are correct.”
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“They saw the G-d of Israel, and under His feet was the likeness of sapphire brickwork, and it was like the essence of heaven in purity.” (24:10)
Rashi explains that the vision Nadav and Avihu saw was of a gathering of stones at Hashem’s feet, as it were, in commemoration of the stones Klal Yisroel had toiled and suffered to construct in Mitzrayim. This vision vividly demonstrated how much Hashem empathizes with one’s pain and suffering and how much value He attributes to it. A Jew must believe that any bit of anguish he experiences in this world has meaning and purpose, even – or especially – when it seems incomprehensible to his finite mind.
One of the hallmarks of a Jew is his compassion and desire to empathize with the pain of others. We learn this trait from Hashem Himself who gathers all our pain and places it under His feet, as it were, in His immediate and constant Presence.
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Sources: Rav Schwab – Ma’ayan Bais Hashoayvah; Story with Ba’al Shem – V’karasa l’Shabbos Oneg