‘Parsha Growth Spurts’[1]
Rabbi Dani Staum
Parshas Chayei Sarah 5774
“Then Avrohom rose up and bowed down to the people of the land, to the B’nei Chais.” (Bereishis 23:7)
Rav Shlomo Wolbe zt’l (Shiurei Chumash) notes that Avrohom’s conduct here is a lesson of how one conducts himself with others, even simple non-Jews. The pasuk makes it a point to describe how respectful and cordial Avrohom was with the B’nai Chais, even stating twice that he bowed before them.
When a truly great person is respected he responds with humility. Even after the B’nai Chais refer to Avrohom as a ‘Prince of G-d’ he continues to address them respectfully and unpretentiously.
Rav Wolbe concludes that the manner is which one deals with others falls into the category of Kiddush Hashem, especially in Eretz Yisroel where the populace is always scrutinizing the behavior of b’nei Torah.
———————————————-
“And my master had me take an oath saying ‘Do not take a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites… Unless you go to my father’s house and to my family and take a wife for my son.” (Bereishis 24:37-38)
Avrohom had instructed Eliezer to take a wife “for my son for Yitzchak” (ibid 24:4). However, when Eliezer relates the oath to Rivkah’s family he only recounts that he was to take a wife for his son, but he does not mention Yitzchak’s name.
Bais HaLevi explains that Avrohom instructed Eliezer to find a wife who was worthy, not only to marry into his illustrious family as his daughter-in-law, but also a wife suitable for Yitzchak.
This is in opposition to the practice of many wealthy people who seek a husband for their daughter from a distinguished scholarly family. However, they do not wish that the groom himself be such an outstanding scholar, because they do not want to subject their daughters to the arduous life of being a Rebbitzin. These wealthy individuals understand the value of Torah and want their daughter to marry someone who possesses distinguished lineage, albeit they don’t want their daughters to suffer any deprivation from being married to such a scholar. They want their daughters to be in close proximity to such saintliness, but that they themselves be able to continue to enjoy all of the amenities of wealth and physical comfort.
When Eliezer arrived in the home of Besuel and Lavan he immediately realized what kind of people he was dealing with. He understood that if he would recount the righteousness of Yitzchak and describe to them the extent of his righteousness, they would do all in their power to ‘protect’ Rivkah from becoming a Rebbitzin. Therefore, Eliezer only described the greatness of Avrohom and the respect and prestigious standing of the family. They would then be very excited for their daughter to marry into such a distinguished reputable family, so long as she would not have to sacrifice anything herself in order to do so.
———————————————-
“And I said to my master ‘Perhaps the woman will not follow me?’” (Bereishis 24:39)
Rashi notes that when Eliezer recounted how he expressed his reservation that ‘perhaps’ (‘Ulai’) the girl will refuse the marriage proposal, he hinted to the fact that he had personal hopes that she would indeed refuse (the word ulai sounds similar to ailay which means ‘to me’, i.e. For my sake she will refuse the proposal). Eliezer had a daughter that he clandestinely hoped would merit marrying Yitzchak. But Avrohom sensed his hope and explained to Eliezer that his daughter could never marry Yitzchak because she was a Canaanite, who are an accursed nation, while the progeny of Avrohom are blessed.
The commentaries are puzzled that the Torah only alludes to Eliezer’s ulterior intention when he recounts his earlier conversation with Avrohom, but not when the Torah records the original conversation (ibid 24:5).
Oznayim LaTorah explains that originally Eliezer didn’t even entertain the notion that he would be worthy of being Avrohom’s mechutan. But when he met Besuel and Lavan he reasoned that if such people could become Avrohom’s mechtanim, he surely could.
He offers a second explanation that the pasuk is demonstrating the righteousness of Eliezer. In order to impress upon Besuel and Lavan the merit Rivkah would have to marry Yitzchak, he related to them that he was more than good enough for his own daughter.
———————————————-
STRIVINGHIGHER.COM
[1] This series was originally written for and published in Hamodia.