“RABBI’S MUSINGS (& AMUSINGS)”
Erev Shabbos Kodesh – Yom Kippur
9 Tishrei 5785/ October 11, 2024
OH DEER
For those living in New York City, it’s quite rare to see deer. But for
those of us who live on the other side of the Hudson River it is quite common.
In fact, recently the number of deer has grown exponentially. It is not unusual
for a family of deer to sprint across our yard, or even be grazing calmly in
our yard. (So far, my effort to get them to pay for their usurped meals haven’t
been successful…) Often, when I walk into my own backyard the deer chilling
there glare at me as if I am intruding on their property.
As I walk closer, they stop nibbling on the grass to stare at me and
their ears immediately perk up. It’s clear that they are listening intensely to
every sound as they watch to see if I’m getting too close. When they deem that
I’ve indeed gotten too close, they immediately bolt.
It’s amazing how quickly they shift into danger mode. When a deer first
senses potential danger, it freezes “like a deer in headlights” with its ears
flared, completely focused on surveying the situation.
What’s fascinating is
that even if a deer is chased by a real predator, as soon as the danger passes,
the deer resumes its previous state of complete calm. The same holds true for
other animals like zebras and impalas. When they sense danger, their body
instantly mobilizes with a physiological “fight-or-flight” reaction. As soon as
the threat dissipates however, it immediately returns to a state of
homeostasis, and its stress response subsides as swiftly as it arose.
At times, we could benefit greatly if we could learn this from animals.
After a situation that triggered a fight or flight reaction within us has
dissipated, we often struggle with anxiety from the previous situation. Though
the danger has passed we relive it in our minds and ruminate over the
experience.
However, we often have the opposite reaction as well. After something
triggers us, we often push the event out of our mind when we should not be so
quick to do so.
In our fast-paced, impatient world we fail to appreciate the importance
and value of truly listening.
When I was in graduate school working towards my social work degree, my
professors would emphasize the importance of active and empathic listening to a
client. Active listening entails periodically reflecting back to a client the
points he or she is saying to demonstrate that you fully understand the emotion
and message he/she is conveying. To a certain extent, a client feeling
comfortable enough to share an experience can be more helpful than the guidance
the therapist offers.
We naturally crave to express ourselves and to feel understood. But these
days who has time or patience to truly listen to someone else? We’re too busy
asserting ourselves and explaining our own viewpoint to hear the opinions and
feelings of others.
The mitzvah of Shofar obligates us to focus on listening. In fact, the
beracha recited prior does not mention blowing the shofar, only hearing it.
Fulfilling the mitzvah of shofar entails just listening. One is not supposed to
speak from when the berachos are recited prior to the first shofar blasts until
all 100 shofar blasts have been blown at the conclusion of Mussaf. What an
invaluable training – keep quiet and listen purposefully!
What a better world it would be if we took the time and invested the energy
to listen to others. On a deeper level, how much better off would we be if we
took the time to listen and be in touch with our own inner voice.
The deer in my yard listen intently, but only enough to ascertain if
there is immediate danger. As soon as the immediate danger has passed the
danger is quickly forgotten.
The shofar teaches us to be in tune with those around us. If we
internalize that message, we can elevate our own lives and the lives of those
we encounter, especially those we love most. But that is only if we dare to be
different than the deer.
Shana Tova &
Gut G’bentscht Yahr
G’mar Chasima
Tova,
R’ Dani and
Chani Staum
