“RABBI’S MUSINGS (& AMUSINGS)”
Erev Shabbos Kodesh parshas Pinchos
18Tamuz 5783/July 7, 2023
PIECE OF HEAVEN
One of the great composers in
contemporary Jewish music is Abie Rotenberg, who is renowned for his
emotionally stirring songs. Some of his most moving songs were composed for the
A Time for Music – HASC concerts.
The chorus of one of those memorable
songs is: “There’s a small piece of heaven in everyone’s heart, a glorious
gift from above. It will sparkle and shine if we each do our part, so reach out
and touch it with love.”
It’s a beautiful song with a very true
message. But there is more than just a small piece of heaven within our hearts.
Our young children come home from
Yeshiva at the end of each week with clever and innovative parsha projects.
Based on the message of the weekly parsha and the protagonists mentioned, the
projects laud our righteous leaders and disparage their antagonists. They
praise the greatness of the patriarchs and disparage the evils of Nimrod,
Lavan, Eisav, etc. That is indeed how it should be.
In the parshios of Chumash Bamidbar
too, we encounter the calamitous narratives of the Complainers, the Spies,
Korach’s rebellion, and the tragic events in Shittim when the nation succumbed
to the temptation of the Moavites.
When I was younger, I tended to view
the sinners with pitiful disdain and wonder how they could have made such disastrous
blunders. As I’ve gotten older, however, I’ve come to realize that aside for
that perspective being naïve, it also robbed me from learning incredible life
lessons that are more applicable to me than I’d like to believe.
Instead of thinking how foolish Korach
and the Spies were, I stand to gain more by considering how men of such great
stature could have been the progenitors of such tragedy. If they could have had
such ignominious ends, I am unquestionably vulnerable to making those mistakes.
These days I sing to myself that,
“There’s a small piece of Korach and the Spies, and even Eisav, Lavan, Pharaoh,
and Nimrod, in everyone’s heart,” each to a different degree. I find that I can
be in stubborn denial like Pharaoh, dangerously arrogant like Nimrod, woefully
iniquitous like Eisav or duplicitous like Lavan.
Undoubtedly, I can also be envious of
the success of others like Korach, fearful of the loss of stature like the
Spies, and prone to lust like our ancestors in Shittim.
The Torah is not a history book. There
is no more contemporary recording of human psychology and experience than the
Torah.
“It can help us sparkle and shine if
we each do our part to reach out and overcome it with patience.” Despite the fact that my revised words don’t fit the song
as well, I believe they contain great truth.
One of our foremost challenges is to
be honest with ourselves about our emotions. We spend a great deal of time
deluding ourselves about how we truly feel in certain situations.
A poignant example:
A person is invited to an extremely
upscale wedding. While sitting at the table waiting for the lavish meal to be
served, he is assailed by the expensive flowers, 20-piece orchestra, and many
other trappings. He turns to the person sitting next to him and quips, “Do you
know how many poor people could be helped with the money wasted on tonight’s
affair? For the price of the flowers alone, the tuition of a few struggling
families could be covered. To be honest, I don’t even care for such a wedding.
It’s so over the top that it makes me nauseous. I’d be embarrassed to host such
an event. It bothers me that people can waste so much money when others are
struggling so much.” (Then, to assuage his guilt for badmouthing the person
paying for his meal he adds, “I’m sure he’s a big ba’al tzedakah, but even
so…”)
I would venture to think that most
people who voice such sentiments are consumed with jealousy. But who wants to
admit to that? It’s far easier to employ righteous indignation and convince
oneself that he is far above feeling jealous. So, he convinces himself that he
is above such feelings.
This is just one trivial example of
countless such scenarios that we encounter every single day.
Ironically, it is those who are candid
with their feelings, and can admit to their occasional pettiness that are often
the most psychologically healthy. Such admission may be uncomfortable, but it
is the only path to true growth.
We are surely not above the feelings
that drove the great men in Chumash Bamidbar to commit such serious sins. More
than we’d like to admit there are also times when we can relate to Balak,
Bila’am, Pharaoh and even Amalek.
If one is willing to recognize that
vulnerability and negativity within himself, he can internalize the timeless
messages that the Torah teaches about how to contend with and transcend those
negative feelings.
There’s indeed a small piece of Heaven
in everyone’s heart. But are also small pieces of negative attributes and
character traits in everyone’s hearts. One who seeks to understand what drives
him and is big enough to fess up to every part of himself is truly a person of
greatness.
Shabbat Shalom
& Good Shabbos.
