Beha’aloscha 5772

‘Parsha Growth Spurts’

Rabbi Dani Staum

Parshas Beha’aloscha

“The nation was like complainers” (Bamidbar 11:1)

A talmid once asked Rav Yechezkel Abramsky zt’l why the generation who lived in the desert is referred to with the distinguished title of ‘Dor De’ah – the generation of knowledge’, if they constantly complained to Hashem throughout their forty years in the desert?

Rav Yechezkel replied by relating that one year on Purim night he saw one boy who didn’t bang at the mention of Haman’s name during Megillah. When he asked the boy about it the boy replied that he didn’t have a grogger because he was an orphan and he had no one to ask to get him one.

Rav Yechezkel explained that the greatness of that generation was that they truly believed Hashem was their provider, and there was no one else to turn to besides Him.  The manner of their requests may have been flawed, but that does not detract from the purity of their emunah in feeling that only Hashem could provide their needs, like a father cares for his son.

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“We remember the fish that we ate in Egypt free…” (11:5)

When Klal Yisroel complained about the mann, they recounted the varieties of food that they had in Egypt, “the cucumbers, melons, leeks, onions, and garlic.” Rashi notes that although the mann had the taste of any food they wished it to have, these foods were an exception, because they are unhealthy for a nursing mother.

Rav Moshe Rosen zt’l asks if the fact that the mann could miraculously have the taste of any food they wanted, why couldn’t Hashem make it that a nursing mother could desire the mann to taste like one of the aforementioned foods and yet it not be detrimental to the baby?

He answered that it was to teach a fundamental lesson in chinuch. If the mann could taste like anything they wanted bar none, they would not have had any need to sacrifice anything for the sake of their children. Hashem did not want the generation born in the desert to be lacking the most vital ingredient in parenting – self-sacrifice for the sake of one’s child. For the sake of their children the entire generation had to forfeit the enjoyment of certain foods.

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“Not so is my servant Moshe; in My entire house he is the trusted one.” (Bamidbar 12:7)

Ha’amek Davar explains the meaning of the words, “In My entire house he is the trusted one”, as follows: “He (Moshe) knows the Ineffable Name (of G-d) which was used to create heaven and earth. However, with the steadfastness of his heart, he doesn’t do anything (with the Name). The title “trusted one” is only applicable to one who has the ability to do, but doesn’t!” In other words, although Moshe knew how to use the Name of Hashem to perform miracles and manipulate nature at will, he did not utilize that knowledge. 

Rabbi Avrohom Pam zt’l illustrated this idea by comparing it to a king who had an extremely loyal and devoted servant. The servant was serving the king for decades and was privy to all the innermost secrets involving the entire kingdom, including the numbers to the combination locks that contained the king’s vast treasures and wealth. Yet the servant never tried to open the combination, because the king never instructed him to do so.

That is the meaning of a ne’eman; someone who completely subjugates himself to the will of his master and can be relied upon to never betray that trust.

Rabbi Pam continued that with this in mind we have an added insight into the customary blessing bestowed upon every bride and groom, “May you merit to build a bayis ne’eman b’Yisroel”. When two individuals live together they learn about the innermost aspects of each other’s personalities. They uncannily see their true natures, proclivities, enjoyments, and faults.

Living together means learning about each other’s deepest vulnerabilities and weaknesses. The job of each spouse is to compliment the other by building up their strengths and helping them overcome their challenges. A marriage that is “ne’eman” is built on the belief that both spouses will never betray that trust. No matter how difficult things may become, despite all the vicissitudes they are confronted with, they will never disloyally unlock the combination that contains the intimate aspects of the other. A bayis ne’eman is a home that contains the trust that both spouses are dedicated to the preservation of the relationship through building each other!          

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Sources: Rav Abramsky – Chazon Yechezkel Tanach; Rav Moshe Rosen & Rav Pam – quoted in their name