‘Parsha Power Points’
Rabbi Dani Staum
Parshas Vayetzei
(28:11) “He encountered the place and spent the night there … he lay down in that place.”
Rashi notes that when Yaakov lay down to sleep on Har Moriah it was the first time he did so since he had departed from his parent’s home. During the previous fourteen years when he was learning Torah in the academies of Shem and Ever he did not sleep.
Why was it necessary for Yaakov to spend fourteen years studying in the yeshivos of Shem and Ever after his father instructed him to seek a wife in Lavan’s house? Furthermore, Yaakov had been studying Torah throughout his life with his father Yitzchok. What more was there to learn from Shem and Ever?
Rabbi Yaakov Kamenetzky zt’l explained that Shem lived through the generation of the flood, while Ever lived through the generation of the dispersion (dor haflagah). At this point in his life, when Yaakov was leaving the spiritually safe confines of his father’s home to live in the exile of his duplicitous brother-in-law, Yaakov felt that he needed to fortify himself for the spiritual challenges that lay ahead. In order to fulfill his father’s instruction, he had to learn from Shem and Ever how to remain faithful, despite the challenges of exile.
Rabbi Mendel Kaplan zt’l once quipped that people think a yeshiva is a gas station, where one fills up with fuel so he can drive on. But they are mistaken. “A Yeshiva is a gymnasium. He has to work out”. In other words, while one is in yeshiva he has to exercise his spiritual muscles, so that he is well fortified for the inevitable spiritual impediments of life.
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(30:31) “Hashem saw that Leah was hated”
Rav Avrohom Pam zt’l related to a group of mechanchim a personal anecdote that occurred when he was an elementary school rebbe. During parent-teacher conferences a mother of one of his students recounted that her son said that the rebbe hated him. Rav Pam was shocked; he loved every Jew, and surely his students. The mother then clarified, ‘He said that you call on the other boys more than you call on him.’
Reflecting on that incident, Rav Pam noted that Torah says that Hashem saw that Leah was hated. Is it conceivable that Yaakov hated the Leah?
Rav Pam explained, “Although Yaakov surely loved Leah, because he loved Rochel more, Leah felt hated. The Torah views that as a criticism of Yaakov and therefore writes that he hated her because she felt that way. So too, did I really hate that student? G-d forbid! But he felt hated because he perceived that I called on other boys more than I called on him because I like them more.”
One must always be so careful – not only to not hurt someone else’s feelings – but to try to think about the other person’s perspective in everything we do so that no one should even feel slighted.
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(31:3) “Hashem said to Yaakov, ‘Return to the land of your forefathers…”
After 21 years in the home of Lavan, Hashem appeared to Yaakov and told him that it is time for him to leave. Following G-d’s instruction Yaakov summoned his wives and began to relate all of the challenges he endured during his years in Charan, and why it made sense for them to leave. At the end of his diatribe, almost as an afterthought, Yaakov adds that G-d has instructed him to leave. Leah and Rochel responded by equally rationalizing why it made sense for them to leave. Shouldn’t the conversation have been simply that Yaakov approached his wives and informed them that G-d said it was time to leave so they should begin packing?!
Rabbi Moshe Shternbuch shlita explained that one is supposed to always feel that keeping the Will of Hashem, the Torah, and mitzvos is for his own benefit. It is true that ultimately Yaakov was going to fulfill G-d’s instruction no matter what his wives replied, and they would have done the same. But before doing so they sought to ingrain within themselves that G-d’s command was for their best.
When we teach others about Torah and mitzvos we must convey that we are proud to be those who have the merit to bear that banner. It is a yoke we hoist with pride, proud that we are the chosen, and that ultimately every mitzvah is there for our benefit.
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(Sources: Rabbi Kamenetzky – Emes L’Yaakov; Rabbi Kaplan – heard from a talmid; Rav Pam – heard from Rabbi Mordechai Finkleman; Rabbi Shternbuch – Ta’am V’[da’as)