“RABBI’S MUSINGS (&
AMUSINGS)”
AMUSINGS)”
Erev Shabbos Kodesh
Parshas Terumah
Parshas Terumah
30 Shevat (1 Rosh
Chodesh Adar I) 5774/January 31, 2014
Chodesh Adar I) 5774/January 31, 2014
It’s an age-old women’s
question: Why when a woman cares for her
children is it called ‘watching my kids’, but when a man watches his children
he tells everyone he’s babysitting?
question: Why when a woman cares for her
children is it called ‘watching my kids’, but when a man watches his children
he tells everyone he’s babysitting?
Hashem created everyone
with their talents, and women are granted an innate ability to be mothers. Men
are good at a lot of things too. But watching their children alone can be an
extreme challenge for many men. For one, taking care of children requires
multitasking, something which men aren’t legendary for. It also often requires
dealing with flaring emotions and a lack of rationality, which men aren’t
always good at either (just ask their wives). Whatever the reason is, many men
have a particularly hard time watching their children. When they refer to it as
babysitting it makes them feel like they’re doing a chesed, which helps them
feel altruistic. Perhaps they also like to pretend that they are going to get
some sort of compensation for doing it (like being allowed to sleep in their
house that night).
with their talents, and women are granted an innate ability to be mothers. Men
are good at a lot of things too. But watching their children alone can be an
extreme challenge for many men. For one, taking care of children requires
multitasking, something which men aren’t legendary for. It also often requires
dealing with flaring emotions and a lack of rationality, which men aren’t
always good at either (just ask their wives). Whatever the reason is, many men
have a particularly hard time watching their children. When they refer to it as
babysitting it makes them feel like they’re doing a chesed, which helps them
feel altruistic. Perhaps they also like to pretend that they are going to get
some sort of compensation for doing it (like being allowed to sleep in their
house that night).
I was thinking about
this recently, because Chani went to a Melave Malka on Motzei Shabbos last
week, and I was left home with our children. Call my watching them whatever you
want, but I was about to call a babysitter for backup. The truth is that the
older four were fine. But our four month old son, Dovid, wasn’t happy with me.
Suffice it to say that he spent the majority of our time together sobbing and
screaming. His flustered and frustrated father tried everything to calm him
down, including giving him two bottles, holding him in different positions,
pushing him in the stroller, playing music, etc. but it was all to no avail. Let’s just say it
was a rough night for both of us.
this recently, because Chani went to a Melave Malka on Motzei Shabbos last
week, and I was left home with our children. Call my watching them whatever you
want, but I was about to call a babysitter for backup. The truth is that the
older four were fine. But our four month old son, Dovid, wasn’t happy with me.
Suffice it to say that he spent the majority of our time together sobbing and
screaming. His flustered and frustrated father tried everything to calm him
down, including giving him two bottles, holding him in different positions,
pushing him in the stroller, playing music, etc. but it was all to no avail. Let’s just say it
was a rough night for both of us.
The next morning when I
arrived home from shul, and walked into the kitchen, Dovid was swinging back
and forth in his swing. I was sure when he saw me he would burst into tears,
the way our children cry when their pediatrician merely walks into the room. I
was pleasantly surprised when he looked at me and smiled one of the cooing
smiles that melts a parent’s heart.
There is definitely an advantage to not being cognitively developed
enough to be able to bear a grudge.
arrived home from shul, and walked into the kitchen, Dovid was swinging back
and forth in his swing. I was sure when he saw me he would burst into tears,
the way our children cry when their pediatrician merely walks into the room. I
was pleasantly surprised when he looked at me and smiled one of the cooing
smiles that melts a parent’s heart.
There is definitely an advantage to not being cognitively developed
enough to be able to bear a grudge.
We state each morning
in shacharis that Hashem “renews every day constantly, the workings of
creation.” Not only does Hashem give the world renewed energy to function each
day, but He also invests a spirit of ‘newness’ into the world. No matter what I
did or how I acted yesterday, I can renew and recommit myself to rectify
yesterday and proceed with today.
in shacharis that Hashem “renews every day constantly, the workings of
creation.” Not only does Hashem give the world renewed energy to function each
day, but He also invests a spirit of ‘newness’ into the world. No matter what I
did or how I acted yesterday, I can renew and recommit myself to rectify
yesterday and proceed with today.
The effective
parent/teacher greets his/her children each morning with a smile that conveys a
feeling of happiness that they will have the chance to spend time together.
There are unquestionably certain children who make it difficult for the
parent/teacher to do so. For such children it requires great focusing on the
child’s good qualities, some forced temporary amnesia to overlook previous
confrontations and struggles, and some prayer for Divine assistance. A child
can sense when he/she is wanted and welcomed. It is especially vital to help
the child who least deserves it feel wanted and loved.
parent/teacher greets his/her children each morning with a smile that conveys a
feeling of happiness that they will have the chance to spend time together.
There are unquestionably certain children who make it difficult for the
parent/teacher to do so. For such children it requires great focusing on the
child’s good qualities, some forced temporary amnesia to overlook previous
confrontations and struggles, and some prayer for Divine assistance. A child
can sense when he/she is wanted and welcomed. It is especially vital to help
the child who least deserves it feel wanted and loved.
Our goal is imitatio
Dei, to be like G-d. Thankfully, G-d grants us a new opportunity each morning,
despite what we have done until now. If we can give that sense of newness to
those we interact with, we are indeed divine!
Dei, to be like G-d. Thankfully, G-d grants us a new opportunity each morning,
despite what we have done until now. If we can give that sense of newness to
those we interact with, we are indeed divine!
Shabbat Shalom &
Good Shabbos,
Good Shabbos,
R’
Dani and Chani Staum
Dani and Chani Staum
720 Union Road • New Hempstead, NY 10977 • (845)
362-2425
362-2425